Basic Rules for Pilots 

Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it.  The 
edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings,  sea, 
trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.  

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full  power to 
taxi to the terminal. 

The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in  the world; it can just barely kill 
you. 

Blue water Navy truism: There  are more planes in the ocean than there are 
submarines in the sky. 

If  the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a 
helicopter --  and, therefore, unsafe. 

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane,  you always have enough 
power left to get you to the scene of the crash.  

Without ammunition, the USAF would just be another expensive flying  club. 

I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous. 

If  you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash 
as  possible. 

You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.  

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you. 

Just  remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on 
a sunny  day. 

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was  forgotten. 

The three most common expressions (aka famous last words) in  aviation are: 
"Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?", and "Uh oh."