WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE

>>
>> LUTHERAN AIR IS NOW  OPERATING FROM DULUTH AIRPORT
>>
>> YA SHURE, YA BETCHA! DIS  IS DA LATEST AIR SERVICE TO SPROUT UP IN
>> MINNYSOTA. ALSO SERVING  VISCONSIN, NORT AND SOUT DAKOTA.
>>
>> If you are travelin  soon, consider Lutran (Lutheran) Air, da no-frills
>> airline. You're  all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin is a
>> upliftin  experience. Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air  flight.
>>
>> Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15,  bring a salad; 16-21, 
>> a
>> main dish, and 22-30, a  dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da 
>> rear
>> of da  aircraft.
>>
>> Everyone is responsible for his or her own  baggage. All fares are by 
>> free
>> will offering and da  plane will not land 'til da budget is met.
>>
>> Pay attention  to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da
>> safety system  aboard dis Lutran Air 599.
>>
>> Okay den, listen up. I'm only  gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a
>> sudden loss of cabin pressure,  I am frankly going to be real surprised
>> and so vill Captain Olson,  because we fly right around two tousand 
>> feet,
>> so loss  of cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or
>> someting  of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodar with doze liddle masks 
>> on  da
>> rubber tubes.
>>
>> You're gonna have bigger  tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze
>> back up in dair little  holes. Probably da masks fell out because of
>> turbulence which, to be  honest wit you, we're going to have quite a 
>> bit
>> of at  two tousand feet, sort a like driving across a plowed field, but
>>  after a while you get used to it.
>>
>> In da event of a water  landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da 
>> Lord's
>>  Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as  
>> we
>> forgive doze who sin against us, which some people  say "trespass 
>> against
>> us," which isn't right, but what  can you do?
>>
>> Da use of cell phones on da plane is  strictly forbidden, not because 
>> day
>> may confuse da  plane's navigation system, which is seat of da pants 
>>  all
>> da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and  if 
>> God
>> meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put  your mout on da side 
>> of
>> your  head.
>>
>> We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet  style with da coffee 
>> pot
>> up front. Den we'll have da  hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket 
>> in
>> front of  you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am going to be
>> real  upset and I am not kiddin!
>>
>> Right now I'll say Grace.  "Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze
>> gifts to us be blessed.  Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in 
>> Dulut
>> or  pretty close.  Amen!
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