The recent hurricanes and skyrocketing oil and gasoline prices helped  to

prove the existence of a new element. In early October 2005, a  major
research 
institution announced the discovery of the heaviest  element yet known to
science. 
The new element has been named  "Governmentium."

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant  neutrons, 88 deputy 
neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it  an atomic mass of
312. These 
312 particles are held together by forces  called 'morons' which are
surrounded 
by vast quantities of lepton-like  particles called 'peons.' Since Gv has
no 
electrons, it is inert.  However, it can be detected, because it impedes
every 
reaction with which  it comes into contact. A minute amount of Gv causes
one 
reaction to take  over four days to complete, when it would normally take
less than 
a  second!

Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay; but  instead 
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant  neutrons
and deputy 
neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's  mass will actually
increase 
over time, since each reorganization will  cause more morons to become
neutrons, 
forming 'isodopes.' This  characteristic of moron promotion leads most 
scientists to believe that Gv  is formed whenever morons reach a certain
quantity in 
concentration. This  hypothetical quantity is referred to as 'Critical
Morass.'

When  catalyzed with money, Gv becomes "Administratium' (Am) - an element

which  radiates just as much energy as Gv, since it has half as many
peons but  
twice as many morons.