Joseph,
Get your wife off her seat and the seats and up on the rail. With her butt  
perched on the rail, part will overhang the gunnel giving her complete and 
total  comfort and control. It took my wife several years to figure out that this 
is  the best and safest place to sit while X-sailing. In fact, my wife is now 
quite  comfortable sitting on the rail and prefers it to lounging in the 
cockpit. Her  preferred position is with her back towards the cabin just forward of 
the  cockpit on the rail. Great handholds and no worries about sliding under 
the  seat.
I know, I know, but with constant persuasion, she and you will both  
understand what I'm talking about. Making the admiral comfortable is VERY  important 
to your sailing experience. Sailing can be relaxing, but doesn't have  to be 
all the time. Personally, I prefer the X times.
 
Rummy