Subject:   New Element on Periodic  Table


A major research institution has just announced the discovery  of the densest
element yet known to science.

The new element has  been named "Bushcronium."


Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant  neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and
224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an  atomic mass of 311.


These particles are held together by dark forces  called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like  particles called peons.


The symbol for Bushcronium is  "W".


Bushcronium's mass actually increases over  time, as morons  randomly
interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become  assistant deputy
neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming  isodopes.


This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some  scientists to believe that
Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a  certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to  as "Critical
Morass".

When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates  Foxnewsium, an element that 
radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as  incoherent noise, since 
it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many  morons.
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