Governmentium  

Research has led to the  discovery of the heaviest element yet known to 
science. The new element,  Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant 
neutrons, 88 deputy  neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an 
atomic mass of  312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, 
which  are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called 
peons.  Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be  
detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into  contact. 
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that  would normally 
take less than a second to take from four days to four  years to complete. 
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it  does not decay, but instead 
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion  of the assistant neutrons and 
deputy neutrons exchange places. 
In  fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each  
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming  isodopes. 
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to  believe that 
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical  concentration. This 
hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical  morass. When catalyzed with 
money, Governmentium becomes Administratium,  an element that radiates just as 
much energy as Governmentium since it has  half as many peons but twice as 
many  morons.













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